i hate myself and i want to die [entries|friends|calendar] erniesucks [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[Wednesday, 11th May, 2005 @ 3:30pm] [ mood | complacent ] [ music | my chemical romance ] so NYC was awesome! i move in 2 weeks, and i'll most likely be leaving everything behind...i met some guys who are in desperate need for a bass player, so that's what i'm gonna be doing. music is my main passion and i've heard these guys, they are so incredibly talented...so i'm really excited to be joining them. keep your eyes peeled, after we get situated we'll try to book some shows for anyone who's interested. i can't fucking wait to get out of this hole!!!!! i can almost garuntee that i won't miss anyone. every single person i know has caused me grief at one time or another and leaving it all behind will only make me happier. who knows, maybe i'll finally be able to start enjoying my life......................before i die 2 slit my my throat

i'll draw the bath and i'll load your gun... [Friday, 22nd April, 2005 @ 6:07pm] [ mood | cheerful ] [ music | streetlight manifesto ] i'm thinking about moving down to NYC. me and stevo have plans to fly down there tommorow night to look at a few appartments, no matter what i'm moving to new york....i got accepted to the art institute of NY so there's no turning back now. i'm really excited to do something with my life! no all i need is a job...haha, anyone need a cab driver? well...i'm gonna go pack, and i should be back by next thursday...i'll try my best to update. my throat

college or bum? [Friday, 1st April, 2005 @ 8:08pm] i was thinking about going to college. for a while i just wanted nothing to do with higher education, but now that i'm seeing things differently i really want to persue something....maybe photography. i haven't used any opiate's in like a week, i think i'm getting better. changed the LJ layout!! my throat

WTF [Sunday, 20th March, 2005 @ 10:25pm] [ mood | pissed off ] [ music | nine inch nails ] i absolutly fucking hate kelly!!! i thought she was my friend, but the truth all came out when she decided to steal $500 from me, and fuck some random scruffy guy in MY apartment on my couch. while all this is going on, i'm at work...soo scott stopped by my place and caught them. i can't stand to look at her, i never wanna see that stupid bitch ever agian! she knew exactly how i felt about her, and this...this has to be the lowest anyone could ever sink. i think i'm gonna go slit my wrists or something 4 slit my my throat

stoned... [Friday, 18th March, 2005 @ 10:01pm] [ music | the cure ] i had meg and scottie over last night....and no we didn't get stoned! some of you might start to think that that's all i do, but trust me, it's not. we mainly just hung out and listened to some music, then that got lame so we ended up going out to diner. i'm starting to respect scottie just a little bit, and out of all the guy's my sister has been with he seems to be the best one for her. meh, not much else to add, i might just go to steve's for the night....i hate being in this creepy apartment all by myself! my throat

... [Wednesday, 16th March, 2005 @ 3:03pm] [ mood | depressed ] i think i should try rehab. i threw up this morning, steve gave me some heroin and my stupid ass thought it would be cool to try it...i never thought i'd do heroin!?!? i've always just stuck with the basics; weed, shrooms and acid. for some reason heroin was different...it really made me feel good which is a bad thing becuase once you find something to numb that pain of depression, your only gonna want more. i hate my life!!!! no one could ever understand what i go through every day....ha, i have to live with the fact that my parents never wanted me, none the less my father killed himself when i was 3 years old and my mom was and still is a junkie. i thought that by moving out, things would be different but i completly fucked that up! i'm a goddamn drug addict, with a shit job and no college degree. i'll never make it in life at the rate i'm going. meh FUCK this sappy shit!! i'm gonna go for a walk. my throat

nothing like waking up in the parking lot [Tuesday, 15th March, 2005 @ 5:00pm] [ mood | cranky ] i am so sick of this lifestyle! every night it's the same damn thing over and over and over agian...i woke up this morning to find myself in the parking lot at tops, i was in my car so it wasn't like i was sprawled across the pavement like a dead man. i have no idea how i got there, and my pants were missing. was i even wearing pants? hmmm, i'm gonna have to think about that one for a second. me and steve were taking hits of acid earlier today, haha...we just sat around for hours watching the cosby show, or some shit like that. and all i kept seeing was like 1000 bill cosby's eating jello and then trying to spoon feed it to me. then he went up in flames and disappeard. that was the end of my tripp, and now that i'm thinking about it...that was the worst tripp ever! my throat

work sucks [Monday, 7th March, 2005 @ 2:41pm] [ music | jeramiah was a bullfrog ] well..yesterday sucked, mainly becuase i had to work and i swear i hate every goddamn person that works there, except for sharon. she was nice enough to share her twinkie with me, becuase i uhhh, let's just say i left my wallet at chico's. *rolls eyes* right now i'm just bumming, and when mike and ray get out of work were gonna go over to kelly's and hang out for a while. oh yes....we are! my throat

i'd slit my throat, just to kiss your neck... [Friday, 4th March, 2005 @ 7:31pm] [ music | skin yard ] well, i decided to jazz this place up a bit, i've just been way to busy to keep a journal. hmmm, me and mike just got our tickets to the atreyu show for next month....fuckin' love them!!! they never play here, but other than that not much has happend. haha, i don't even think i should mention last night, i was stoned out of my mind. mike thought he could go swimming on the pavement....just imagine a 20 year old shitfaced guy attempting to swim the seven seas, when there isn't a body of water to be seen. LMFAO, well i'll update later..pizza's ready. yuumm my throat

cha cha chaaaaa [Friday, 25th February, 2005 @ 4:26pm] me and randy hit up northtown tonight...it's gonna be awesome! we always get into soooo much trouble, but it's cool...i had a math test today, that i most likely didn't do well on becuase i forgot to study. but other than that, life is good...i'll post pictures tonight.........................maybe? my throat

.... [Sunday, 13th February, 2005 @ 11:31am] today i went to the movies with kelly....it was kinda akward, since i accidently kissed her two weeks ago and we really haven't hung out or touched base since then. i can't say it was accidental, becuase i really wanted to...hmmm, life can get sooooo frustrating sometimes and now i will spend valentines alone, like last year. :( my throat

woooohy [Friday, 11th February, 2005 @ 9:23pm] just started this journal...not i'm off to find some friends and some possible communitys to join, heck yes! my throat

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